Sunday, February 22, 2009

Choices


So, here we are at week seventeen! Hugh is getting so big and continues to develop his own personality each day. I think it is crazy that they can start forming some behaviors so early (some behaviors we love and some we wouldn't mind seeing go away). We love him like crazy! We are so blessed to experience each new day with this little boy!

So, what has week seventeen brought to us? Well, I would say it has brought choices. The choice whether to drink six ounces of milk in an hour (yes, he is a slow eater) or to take three hours (yes, this week it is taking him close to three hours to finish a bottle). The choice whether to drink from the Dr. Brown bottle or the Avent bottle (yes, I brought it back to shake it up a bit). The choice to eat rice cereal or stare at us like we are crazy (lately, we get the crazy stare a lot...I am not quite sure he is ready for the solids yet). The choice to be fussy or to be sweet. The choice of which toy to play with or to not play at all. The choice to cry at loud noises or to be calm (sudden, loud noises (like sneezing) make him burst into tears). The choice to smile or frown. The choice to sleep through the night or to wake up in the middle of it (yes, we are back to waking up in the night to eat...he doesn't eat enough during the day and he is hungry). So, much to my surprise, a baby at seventeen weeks has a lot of choices! So, I have the choice to trust in God or trust in man, to remain sane or to go crazy...I would say crazy won out a little this week. The eating issue for me is driving me to Crazyland. We called the pediatrician again this week to discuss the eating issues (they said teething, but that doesn't make sense) and we are going in next week to discuss. I talked with a lot of people about reflux to see if Hugh could have that...it is tough because he doesn't have a lot of the "true" reflux symptoms - spit-up, colic like crying, sitting up to eat, etc. So, we sit confused, frustrated, and sad - it is hard to see him hurting while he eats (you should hear his stomach). We'll see what the pediatrician has to say, but we hope he listens because I am starting to get that mother's gut feeling that something isn't right and this isn't "normal". Also, we can handle the eating on the bottle all day because he can play on his "breaks", but eating baby food all day is going to be a lot harder to do...we are not even close to that yet, but I still think about it. We have to debate whether to take him out during feedings times because people wouldn't understand...also, we don't know how clean people's floors are and this little boy has to be laying on the ground to eat. We laugh at the thought of trying to feed him forty ounces of milk a day and two solid feedings. I also have the choice to covet other babies eating patterns or to trust in God...never in a million years did I think I would be jealous (that jealous type when you want to jump across the table...like when other mothers tell you that their babies have been sleeping twelve hours a night since they were six weeks old) when other women tell me their babies drink an eight ounce bottle of milk in twenty minutes. So, we pick up our tickets to Saneland and chose to trust in God and be patient. We'll see what the pediatrician has to say this week.



So, we wait and trust. We realize that all the books and information still don't explain every baby. We realize that we must have lost our "Parenting Manual" at the hospital. So, we do the best we can and try not to spend too much time in Crazyland (a visit here and there is okay). We know God is good and we see it everyday. We will place our trust in Him and place our little boy in His hands. We thank you all for your prayers and we love you all!


(Yes, the new camera has arrived and I am in love...Jake doesn't have to buy me birthday or Christmas gifts this year! I don't know how I survived without the SLR for so long! Yes, I am all about the head shots!)

11 comments:

Pam said...

It seems that at every phase of parenting, we are given the opportunity to choose to trust God. Thank you for this honest and encouraging post!!

Jen said...

Those are awesome pictures, sooo adorable! :)

Ben and Melissa James said...

He's adorable! We had so much fun chatting with you guys last night. We'll be praying for Hugh (& you) as you transition through this difficult time. I can't tell you how many times I went to Crazyland when Emma was a baby...I think I had a season pass (with free parking...what a deal)!

AprilJ said...

How did that poor sugar go from 30 to 40oz and 2 cereals in a week?! Hang in there.. I had the free parking with my crazyland pass as well! What a coincidence ;) Here's hoping your ped. is able to answer your questions and that God will grant you peace of mind. I love the pic of Hugh where he looks surprised/mad. I saw that face with Papa was throwing him up in the air :) Love you guys.

Filleman Family said...

VERY cute pictures!! If you want to escape crazy just have another kid. Then you are SO crazy and SO tired that you don't even realize you are crazy .. . ahhh ignorant bliss :)

Amy said...

I'm sorry you are in this tough phase, I remember the eating issues all too well. Pam said it best, we are given lots of opportunities in parenting to trust God. I could tell you a few that I am dealing with now. Hang in there, soon it will be a distant memory. You are doing a GREAT job and he is so cute. Oh, and I am jealous of your SLR! Lucky!

Jason and Lisa said...

Hugh is so cute. I love that last picture. Wow, 40 ounces??? That seems like a lot...I remember amounts being something I could not find and my ped. would not give me an exact amount of how much G should have. Thank you for being so honest in your posts. I'm sure you are doing a great job.

Brooke said...

That camera is amazing! Or...maybe it's just the subject. ;-) Praying for you! It appears that we are among good company in Crazyland!

Theresa said...

I have a ton of advice when it comes to bottle feeding...oh wait, I never gave my boys bottles b/c I was too lame, lazy, whatever...so you are WAY ahead of my game! :) Take a deep breath and just focus on how much you enjoy him! He is too darn cute!

The Martins said...

Proof that God created children for more reasons than just procreation :)
You are being refined as silver is refined- hang in there!

Cristina said...

I will have to agree with Sarah. Children are definetely instruments for our santification. Hang in there, Hugh doesn't seem one bit like he is lacking any food. Be still in continue trusting in God as you have. Great pictures! I have been begging for an SLR for a long time... Still am!