Thursday, June 4, 2009

Pump, Pump!!!


Well, I am posting twice in one week again…what is the world coming to? No, this post is not the weekly update on Hugh…it is a special shout out to Mr. Pump. For those of you who don’t know, Mr. Pump has been a companion of mine for the last seven months…especially the last five months. Where I went, he went…he became a girl’s “breast” friend. Who would have thought that the pump that I brought back from Texas over a year ago would become so important in my life. You see, I tried (and tried and tried and tried…you get it) breastfeeding Hugh, but at eight weeks of life on this earth, we both decided that in order for life to continue for me that I would no longer breastfeed Hugh…little did we know that his dysphagia would never allow for breastfeeding and he should have never been breastfed (wow, learning that earlier on would have made me much more sane). So, that led me to Mr. Pump. Now, we interacted early on after Hugh was born – I’ll never forget the first time…I started crying within thirty seconds. Mr. Pump was not Mr. Gentle and I swore (and probably not in a nice way) that he would NEVER touch me again. Well, I slowly warmed up to him (he is a good listener…never has an opinion) and our relationship began…he has been with lots of women over his six years and he certainly “knows” what he is doing. And yes, he did know what he doing…thousands of ounces later. Well, the time has come for us to say goodbye to Mr. Pump…and the timing is just right since Mr. Pump is dying. So, this is a shout out to Mr. Pump…

Random Reasons Why Mr. Pump and I are Good Friends…

1. There is no demand feeding with Mr. Pump…he eats when I decide to feed him.
2. Mr. Pump never cries for food – he is patient with me and doesn’t “yell” at me when he is hungry…oh, wait…neither does Hugh!
3. He sleeps thru the night…every night unless I decide to wake him.
4. He never “snack fed” – it was always full feedings for him.
5. He never bit me.
6. We never dealt with the pulling on and off deal – he was never distracted…when he was feeding, there was no playing around.
7. He could finish a full feeding in less than eight minutes.
8. If I forgot him at home, no one would call CPS on me.
9. He saved me money…rather than cost me LOTS of money!
10. He is very fashionable in sleek, black attire.
11. He allowed for me to eat the cupcakes, ding dongs, ho hos, twinkies…you get it. He was like my “gym”…too bad he couldn’t be my “surgeon” and move some “junk” around on the body. This, I will truly miss.

And I know there are lots more reasons, but just wanted to highlight a few.

So, Mr. Pump has been “weaned” (and let me tell you that weaning a six year-old is no easy task and neither is weaning in general…PAIN…seriously…I am so much better dealing with pain when I know the time frame that it will end) and we close this chapter in our lives. We know this will not be the last chapter on pumping in my book of life, but we hope that pumping will not be a big story line in our future children’s lives (and no, I am not pregnant). So, thank you April for Mr. Pump…I am sorry he is dying. And thank you to Melissa, who will provide the future Mr. Pump.

9 comments:

Jen said...

You are too funny! :)

Brooke said...

Ah, Jenn, you crack me up! RIP Mr. Pump. :)

Amy said...

Yes, Brooke said what I was thinking - R.I.P Mr. Pump - you've served your purpose well. YAY for being done, Jenn!!!! I'm already done and I haven't even started!

Melissa said...

You are funny, you are a big dork, but funny. :)

Filleman Family said...

I don't know why you would need another pump - I'm pretty sure you have plenty of milk for baby number two in your breast milk holder . . . i mean extra freezer devoted solely to breast milk storage :) You are the pumping queen. i rarely pump without thinking, "wow, I can't believe Jenn does this multiple times per day."

Pam said...

As someone who has pumped for the last two months (and will probably continue...at least part time), I so appreciate (and relate to) this post...particularly all the reasons you and Mr. Pump are friends. I've been borrowing my pump, so it won't be moving with us. I'll be starting my search for a new one shortly...

AprilJ said...

RIP Mr Pump.. he's a little bit of a gigalow if you think about how many women's chests he's been on. I'd say he's led a full life and can now go to the great boob in the sky. (BTW, you're welcome)

AprilJ said...

ooops. i can't spell gigolo. i guess that's not an entirely bad thing.

Evy said...

That was so funny Jenn! You should be a comedian. Luckily I dont have to use my Mr. Pump much. I think I get enough sucked out of me because if I were to pump "a full feeding" would take probably about 30 minutes or more of pumping. That must've been nice to be done in 8 minutes.