Sunday, October 28, 2012



And now to thirty-three weeks!  Wow, thirty-three weeks!  I know I will always be saying this every week, but I blink and the week is over (and I swear I was just looking at him and thinking how old he is getting!!!)…but I can swear that the last five hours of tonight felt like five days…no joke.  It has been one of those days and I am thankful that God’s mercies are new every morning.  I think Sam is teething again…and he is such a brutal teether that I think I may lose my mind.  I am starting to rethink having a baby born with a full set of teeth – it now sounds like a fairly good idea…a creepy idea, but a good idea nonetheless.  I do feel bad for him…I would think it is very painful to get teeth…obviously, I went through it at some point in my life because I have teeth, but I have no memory of it.  However, I can say that I have suffered much pain post teeth…darned teeth always causing problems.  I am praying I can show him some compassion this week rather than focus on myself and my hair (because I am going to pull out every last stitch of it while I go crazy)!  Teeth come quickly!


So, what did week thirty-three bring for Sammy?  Well, obviously I think it is bringing teeth…big ol’ nasty, mean front teeth.  And time will tell…I am sure it will be some time before those big, bad teeth arrive.  And I am praying that I have a happy heart about it – easier said than done.  Sammy enjoyed his oldest brother’s bday celebration and I have learned that Sammy LOVES balloons, but they have to be attached to something because when they are loose, they get away from Sammy and gets mad…like spit fire I am going to burn your house down mad.  So, keep the balloons secure.  He can have quite the feisty temper…it is showing more and more every week and so, I am getting more and more scared!  He is so busy – he can never ever sit still.  Even when he is nursing in the early morning (and he is still tired), he has to be moving his arms and legs constantly.   


He is also starting to think that he is a big boy like his brothers – he brings himself over to the table and tries to pull himself up, which normally ends in a header and lots of tears.  He also thinks he can crawl…but he can’t do that either…it is more than just thinking you can do something, you actually have to be able to do it…he hasn’t gotten that memo yet.  He still likes to get on his knees and rock himself, but he has no idea what he is doing and for that I am thankful.  I am still in no hurry to get him mobile and I think he will be my biggest terror yet!  A sweet terror and cute as can be…but a terror!  However, I know that he so desperately wants to crawl and I know it would bring him so much joy, so for those reasons I want him to be mobile (and I cringe).  Even though he cannot crawl, he gets what he wants and where he wants to go.  He will stay happy for some time playing with his toys on the floor, but I can tell he would like his big brothers’ toys.  I think he is nursing better this week, but this boy is just a rough eater – not so different than his oldest brother.  I do not have good eaters – I can try and pretend like I do, but I don’t.  However, he did eat an entire baby food container at one sitting this morning…that is a big deal.  I guess he likes sweet potatoes and corn.  We have pretty much thrown all food rules out the window and are giving him everything…so irresponsible. 

He is still sleeping like junk, but I did get to sleep for six hours straight one night this week and that was AH-MAZING!  I praise God for blessing me with that sleep – it had been a rough week and an especially rough night the night before (darned food poisoning) and it is going to be a long week, so that sleep came at the perfect time.  Hopeful, I’ll see more of that sleep in my future…a girl can dream.  I have tried a bit of the “working it out” this week – this kid is tough…  Sad.  As much as I can have my moments (oh boy, are there some moments)…this little guy can give me the biggest smiles that just melt my heart.  And, oh my does he need me…like I need cake, he needs me – and he reaches for me and gives me these big, sad eyes and oh, I cannot resist him.  And I just want him to know how much I love him even when I cannot pick him up every last second of the day – I want him to know that I love him with this fierce love.  I am a blessed Mama – God is too kind to me.


I am bracing myself for a VERY long week.  Honestly, I am not sure how long I will last if every day is like today…but then I remember that God is my rock and my strength.  And I know I will get through this week.  I do pray that my heart will be softened to my children and I love them with the same love Christ has shown me.  It is so hard – I am sinner…and so are the littles in my home.  But, I am their witness for Christ, so I better act like it.  Lord, meet me in the hard spots and guide my steps.  Help me to drop the little things and focus on the hearts of my sweet boys.  Help me to relax and remember that my time is limited.  Help me to cherish every day and constantly lead me to the cross.  Amen.


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Interview with a Four Year-Old...

Our first born, Hugh (“Hubey”), is four years-old!  How in the world is our son four years-old?!? Hugh is an awesome kid…seriously awesome.  It makes me sad that most people don’t get to see his awesomeness because he is so painfully shy.  He is sweet…most of the time.  He frequently says “you are so pretty Mama” and “I love you” throughout the day.  He is always willing to help and is a fantastic older brother.  He is super smart and makes me laugh all the time.  There is so much to say, but I’ll keep it for him…so, onto our interview with a vampire four year-old. (my commentary is in parenthesis)

What is your name? Hugh
How old are you? Four
What is your favorite thing to do? Play at the Children’s Museum.
What is your favorite color? Black, green, and brown (why chose just one when there are so many colors of the rainbow?)
What is your favorite food? McDonald’s (McDonald’s is a food group to him)
What do you like to do with your family? Play at the beach.
What is your favorite toy? Music toys
What do you want to be when you grow up? A bad guy (awesome)…no, wait…prolly…maybe…ummm…a puppy, definitely a puppy (at least he sets his goals high).
What makes you happy? Spending the night at my Grammas’ houses.
What makes you sad? Consequences
What is your favorite show to watch? The Singing Show (which is actually The Voice, who doesn’t love themselves some X-tina!?!)
What is your favorite book? Clifford (I asked this question twice and got the same answer…I have never read him Clifford.)
What do you love to learn about? Jesus
What was the best part of your birthday? Opening presents
Where do like to go? The Children’s Museum
Who was your teacher? Ms. Dena (at church)
What is your favorite treat? Popsicles
What do you dream about? I dream about you. (ah, melt my heart…it is a thing we do and he always dreams about me.)
If you could meet someone famous who would it be? Gramma Peggy (lucky for him, he has met her)
What was your favorite birthday present? My dream light.
Who should be our next President? Romney (smart boy)

And there it is…I look forward to doing this every year with my boys.  Happy Birthday, Hugh!  God truly has blessed us…we love you so much!

Monday, October 22, 2012

A Bit of a Strike...


Thirty-two weeks…yay for Sammy!  Wow, twenty more weeks and Sammy is one year old…crazy.  These weeks fly by…but they only seem to fly by once I get to Sunday nights and start writing these posts.  Because when I'm nursing Sam, time stands still…seriously, like actually stands still…I know I have said it before, but time really does stand still.  Ugh, I digress…moving on.  I do wish life would slow down at times…there is never enough hours in the day.  It was a bit rough transitioning back to real life from vacation life, but we survived…still with no sleep and a bit of a nursing strike, but shoot we are survivors in this house.  To surviving!

So, what did week thirty-two bring for Sammy?  Well, it continues to bring junky sleep.  And I try REALLY hard to let him cry, but it is hard…like really hard.  And, I talk a big game that I am going to be so tough on him and make him cry it out…but he is sad, and I want to sleep…ah, such is my life.  I am going to be stuck in this craziness forever…and yes, I bring it on myself.  But this is my blog, and I can whine about it all I want.  I just wish he would magically sleep through the night…the other boys did…Hugh was like nine months, but eventually it happened.  And, I think sometimes he needs to eat in the night.  He is so fickle with his eating.  Sometimes he wants to nurse. Sometimes he doesn’t want to nurse.  Sometimes he wants a bottle.  And sometimes he doesn’t want to eat at all.  So, I feel like it has been a bit of a nursing strike this week…and so, he needs to eat at night.  That is my story and I am sticking to it.  However, he seems to LOVE the solids this week…he’ll try anything and munch on anything.  We are still really leaning towards the “baby led weaning” approach and haven’t really given him baby food.  Now, we have tried the baby food road…he just doesn’t seem to like it.  I don’t blame him…I wouldn’t either.  He LOVES quesadillas!  Yep, that is how we roll…lard and cheese…yummy.  Tortillas are like water in our house…they are a total staple.  He also has really enjoyed eggs, guacamole, hummus…we’ll see what happens this week.  I am glad he seems excited about it now.  Now, this is very messy…and sometimes messiness makes me freak out, but I am embracing this…and I like it WAY better than baby food.  Baby food makes me insane…I think it is because my kids are terrible at it.  It is also not for the faint of heart…there is a lot of gagging on food.  Babies have an incredible gag reflex (I do too…and so does Judah…don’t even get me started), so I don’t worry about Sam choking.  Now, I don’t leave him with a chicken bone and walk away, but I don’t panic every time I see him gagging…and Jake has come around as well…yay for Jake.  I know this phase is so short, but sometimes (when you are in it) it can feel so DANG long!  Ok, enough ranting. 

I am still nursing Sam despite a very tough week.  And pretty much every.single.time I am nursing, I think about quitting.  But then I suffer from some huge mommy guilt…so, I realized my goal is nine months…and if I don’t nurse until then, I will pump…I had to get to that point…for my own sanity.  And, as much as I don’t love the idea of pumping, I know I can do it…shoot, I am practically a pro at it…and every week I nurse is one less week that I would be exclusively pumping.  I finally have a baby that loves his toes…this kid can practically suck on his whole foot…that is some skill.  Shoot, I thought fitting your fist into your mouth was a cool party trick (which I can do…and I'm fairly sure Hubey can as well…boy after my own heart), but sucking on your whole foot…that is rad.  You know what isn’t rad, seeing your almost four year-old try and suck on his foot…that is just gross.  Sucking on feet is only cute when you are baby.  Sam has started trying to push himself up on his knees…he has done it a few times.  Oh my word, I am SO not ready for another mobile child in this house.  Especially this time around with stairs…I need Sam to sit…and not move.  I guess I am just going to have to embrace it all.  He is still so ticklish and I love to get him laughing.  He is so loud...he gets louder every week!  He is totally reaching for me and it melts my heart every.single.time.  I love how he buries his head into me when he is tired.  I love how he grips my shirt when I am holding him.  I love how I can make certain sounds and he smiles every time.  This little boy melts my heart...even with the crazy neediness (what?!? babies need their Mamas?!? that is just crazy talk!) and sleepless nights, he makes me smile every time I see him...even in the middle of the night.

I have seen God’s incredible faithfulness this week, sadly, I haven’t been faithful to Him.  His love amazes me constantly when I am so undeserving.  I have really tried this week to not sweat the small things and to seek God when I feel like losing  He meets me in every moment…so I can take a deep breath when all the toys are out, Sammy is screaming, or Hugh is encouraging Judah to put his spaghetti on his head (why, oh why?!?)…thankful for a very present God.  I also know God is teaching me about being dependent on Him...oh, that is a tough one for me.  I love my independence and my "I can do it myself" attitude, but I love that God is so patient with me and He uses so many things in my life to bring me back to Him.  I wish I wasn't so lame at times.  Looking forward to another week...maybe with a little less strike and a lot more sleep…ah, a girl can dream.

(It was a lazy picture week...shoot, at least there are pictures.)

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Back to life...

Back to reality in week thirty-one for Sammy!  Vakay is over and we are back...sad.  I wish my life could always be a vacation, but sadly it cannot.  However, I did not appreciate the lack of sleep I received on  This sweet baby of mine was and is not sleeping at night...he wakes up like every two hours.  It is brutal!  His first two teeth are coming in...I can feel guessing this is causing all the issues?!?  And yes, on vacation I was feeding him in the night like every two hours...we had all sorts of fun sleeping arrangements and letting him cry at night was not an option.  So, being the martyr I am, I sacrificed myself for my son...I am kind of amazing.  And I am really tired.  Sammy is giving me a run for my money...oh yes, he is.  Sleep training (like the real deal, hard core, no turning back, no excuses sleep training) is coming...sigh.  Well, enough about solving Sammy's sleep issues and more about vakay!  He loved his first "real" vakay!

So, what did week thirty-one bring for Sammy (and week thirty since we sort of skipped that week since we were on vakay!)?  Honestly, I should have been writing things down since there is no possible way I can remember what happened two weeks ago since I can barely remembered what I ate for breakfast.  So, first – Sammy is all healed and there are no issues from his surgery whatsoever – praise God.  We’ll see his surgeon in a couple of weeks, but we have no concern at all.  He is sitting up all the time now and rarely falls over, but it is not out of the realm of possibility to see him slumped over.  He is a total pistol or spitfire as we like to call him.  Seriously, this kid is SUPER feisty and screams whenever he is not getting his way…ah, I love that so much.  He has this high pitch scream to let you know he means business…and business does he mean…wowzers.  Let’s just say his toddler years are going to be super fun!  Hey, we know all about feisty in this house…we love ourselves some feisty.  He traveled really well…got a little burned out by the car ride, but overall he was a super good sport.  He got his first ride in a grocery cart…get back, what a week.  He enjoyed his time at the beach…including the cold water and the sand.  Oh, he loved the sand…all over his body, he loved the sand…and I am still trying to get it out of his nose.  You see, I hate the sand…I am starting to see the joy in more now because I have children, but I hated the sand as a child and when my parents told us we were moving to Arizona (from California), I was so excited that I would not have the sand!  I still cannot stomach the idea of packing a lunch and eating it at the beach…ok, enough of my crazy.  I was glad he loved his time at the beach so much.  He visited SeaWorld and Legoland…spent most of his day in the Ergo…poor buddy.  Sadly, he’ll have no memories of this trip…and honestly, I won’t either in about six months.  

We had lots of nursing fun…nursing in the car, on the beach, at SeaWorld, at Legoland, in bathrooms…good times for sure…the beach didn’t go so well and I can’t blame him…who wants salty, sandy, schweddy boobs?!?  Not this baby.  Have I mentioned how much I love nursing?!?  Honestly, I see an end coming very quickly since the teeth are coming and I have had a biter since birth.  There will be no tears…except for the cost of buying formula.  He is officially in six to twelve month clothes and every pair of pants has to be rolled like three times (wish I could say the same for myself).  Now that he is eating like ten times a day, he should really start to put on some weight…oh joy.  I am REALLY hoping that he’ll be sleeping again soon now that the teeth have arrived, but sadly I know he’ll have more than two teeth…or, at least I hope he does…just hoping the rest of his teeth come in without sleepless nights.  Besides the sleepless nights, he seems fairly happy.  He did great all week with missing naps and going with the flow.  A super big highlight was meeting his Tenennesse family – lots of love for his cousins, and they were super sweet with him.  He loves to be loved and will go to anyone who is willing to hold him.  He is starting to reach a little bit…one of my favorite things…I cannot wait for him to start reaching for me.  Jake swore he said “I love you” to him, but he didn’t…whatever helps Jake sleep at night.  But he does say “hi”…yes, he does…especially to me.  We still aren’t feeding him solids all too often, but we are slowly working on it…doesn’t seem to be a huge fan of baby food, which I am not surprised about…one more month (ok, maybe two) and we’ll be so far past the baby food stage!  Hard to believe Sam has been with us seven months…seven months!  Oh, we love this baby…despite the feisty spirit, he is so sweet and loves to snuggle…and will still rock to sleep with me (darn you sleep training)…love this baby!

 I feel like I need a vacation from my vacation.  Vacation can really show me the selfishness that I have in my heart…I think to myself, this is MY vacation…then why does it feel like so much work?  I have realized in this season that vacations are going to look very different than vacations did in my past…but there is something really awesome about seeing the joy in my boys’ eyes when they see sharks or get to ride roller coasters.  I just wish the elves could come out and do all my laundry, unpack, and put away all the clean laundry...where are my dang elves?!?  Oh yeah...I remember my elves...when I asked one to clean up his toys today, he said, "I like it better when you clean up them up."...yeah, I bet you do.  This vacation was very fun...totally worth all the craziness and we hope we can do it again!