Thirty-two weeks…yay for Sammy! Wow, twenty more weeks and Sammy is one year old…crazy. These weeks fly by…but they only seem to fly by once I get to Sunday nights and start writing these posts. Because when I'm nursing Sam, time stands still…seriously, like actually stands still…I know I have said it before, but time really does stand still. Ugh, I digress…moving on. I do wish life would slow down at times…there is never enough hours in the day. It was a bit rough transitioning back to real life from vacation life, but we survived…still with no sleep and a bit of a nursing strike, but shoot we are survivors in this house. To surviving!
So, what did week thirty-two bring for Sammy? Well, it continues to bring junky sleep. And I try REALLY hard to let him cry, but it is hard…like really hard. And, I talk a big game that I am going to be so tough on him and make him cry it out…but he is sad, and I want to sleep…ah, such is my life. I am going to be stuck in this craziness forever…and yes, I bring it on myself. But this is my blog, and I can whine about it all I want. I just wish he would magically sleep through the night…the other boys did…Hugh was like nine months, but eventually it happened. And, I think sometimes he needs to eat in the night. He is so fickle with his eating. Sometimes he wants to nurse. Sometimes he doesn’t want to nurse. Sometimes he wants a bottle. And sometimes he doesn’t want to eat at all. So, I feel like it has been a bit of a nursing strike this week…and so, he needs to eat at night. That is my story and I am sticking to it. However, he seems to LOVE the solids this week…he’ll try anything and munch on anything. We are still really leaning towards the “baby led weaning” approach and haven’t really given him baby food. Now, we have tried the baby food road…he just doesn’t seem to like it. I don’t blame him…I wouldn’t either. He LOVES quesadillas! Yep, that is how we roll…lard and cheese…yummy. Tortillas are like water in our house…they are a total staple. He also has really enjoyed eggs, guacamole, hummus…we’ll see what happens this week. I am glad he seems excited about it now. Now, this is very messy…and sometimes messiness makes me freak out, but I am embracing this…and I like it WAY better than baby food. Baby food makes me insane…I think it is because my kids are terrible at it. It is also not for the faint of heart…there is a lot of gagging on food. Babies have an incredible gag reflex (I do too…and so does Judah…don’t even get me started), so I don’t worry about Sam choking. Now, I don’t leave him with a chicken bone and walk away, but I don’t panic every time I see him gagging…and Jake has come around as well…yay for Jake. I know this phase is so short, but sometimes (when you are in it) it can feel so DANG long! Ok, enough ranting.
I am still nursing Sam despite a very tough week. And pretty much every.single.time I am nursing, I think about quitting. But then I suffer from some huge mommy guilt…so, I realized my goal is nine months…and if I don’t nurse until then, I will pump…I had to get to that point…for my own sanity. And, as much as I don’t love the idea of pumping, I know I can do it…shoot, I am practically a pro at it…and every week I nurse is one less week that I would be exclusively pumping. I finally have a baby that loves his toes…this kid can practically suck on his whole foot…that is some skill. Shoot, I thought fitting your fist into your mouth was a cool party trick (which I can do…and I'm fairly sure Hubey can as well…boy after my own heart), but sucking on your whole foot…that is rad. You know what isn’t rad, seeing your almost four year-old try and suck on his foot…that is just gross. Sucking on feet is only cute when you are baby. Sam has started trying to push himself up on his knees…he has done it a few times. Oh my word, I am SO not ready for another mobile child in this house. Especially this time around with stairs…I need Sam to sit…and not move. I guess I am just going to have to embrace it all. He is still so ticklish and I love to get him laughing. He is so loud...he gets louder every week! He is totally reaching for me and it melts my heart every.single.time. I love how he buries his head into me when he is tired. I love how he grips my shirt when I am holding him. I love how I can make certain sounds and he smiles every time. This little boy melts my heart...even with the crazy neediness (what?!? babies need their Mamas?!? that is just crazy talk!) and sleepless nights, he makes me smile every time I see him...even in the middle of the night.
I have seen God’s incredible faithfulness this week, sadly, I haven’t been faithful to Him. His love amazes me constantly when I am so undeserving. I have really tried this week to not sweat the small things and to seek God when I feel like losing my...cool. He meets me in every moment…so I can take a deep breath when all the toys are out, Sammy is screaming, or Hugh is encouraging Judah to put his spaghetti on his head (why, oh why?!?)…thankful for a very present God. I also know God is teaching me about being dependent on Him...oh, that is a tough one for me. I love my independence and my "I can do it myself" attitude, but I love that God is so patient with me and He uses so many things in my life to bring me back to Him. I wish I wasn't so lame at times. Looking forward to another week...maybe with a little less strike and a lot more sleep…ah, a girl can dream.
(It was a lazy picture week...shoot, at least there are pictures.)