Friday, January 17, 2014

A New Day

Our little Max is nine weeks and two months old! I swear these weeks fly makes everything go faster! We are definitely back to a more normal routine this week...yay! No more hospital stays! I feel like I am getting on somewhat of a decent routine with the boys...I have very low expectations of myself...if my boys are alive, my laundry is done, and a dinner (or at least food) is on the table at night then I would say it was a successful joke. Total chaos normally hits around midday when everyone is hungry and then I need to go and meet chaos. It also hits right around dinner time as well...when everyone is hungry (I am noticing a pattern) and cranky. God has given me lots of perspective this time around...I am not in control of every aspect of life and it is just a season...a short one at that. I won't always have a hungry baby, a toddler throwing socks in the toilet, and Legos causing permanent scars on my feet (oh, wait...that last one will last forever...darned Legos). So, I take a deep breath, pour myself a glass of wine, and try to relax...or, sometimes scream at my kids because let's be real...I am the greatest sinner I know and it is not all rainbows and unicorns over at this Swiss Sound of Music over here. But...if I keep it all in perspective...tomorrow is always a new day...and I love those boys something fierce...and they make me laugh. It may be crazy, but I am so blessed...beyond words.

So, what did week nine bring for Max? Oh, those nights...this baby!!! He is a total night owl and is still really struggling to get to sleep at night. Once he gets to sleep, he sleeps (praise God!)...but it is getting there that is the struggle. Just a season. And I swear, I don't really mind it...just wish I didn't have anything else to do! But, as I stare down at this little boy sleeping on my chest I am reminded that he's just looking for love and comfort...ok, sign me up. So, we'll figure out these nights...some day. I really feel like he is getting quicker at nursing...oh, I loathe nursing...does that make me like the worst mother on the planet? No bonding at all...strictly a means to an end. However, I have pretty much seen every show on TV possible right now...for reals. You name it, I've watched it. It is the only thing that makes the time go by a little quicker. Thank goodness for the Turkish...keep the pirated TV coming. Now, when I watch Colors with the boys while I am nursing...then time actually stands still...but I highly doubt Jake would appreciate the boys watching Walking Dead with me. I dread the lunch feeding...Colors only entertains Sam for about ten minutes and then he becomes a total menace and gets into EVERYTHING!!! Oh, my as I know it. Max is now 10lbs.6oz. and 23in. He is a little guy, but keeping on his growth curve, so it works for us. We don't make big babies and it horrifies me that people deliver babies that are as big as my two month old! He is healthy - and survived his first round of shots, but then was SUPER sad and then I started freaking out that I ruined my sweet baby with those horrible vaccines...I do this with every child after every vaccine is a gift I have. I should also mention that I took all four boys to the doctor - amazing, yes I am. What I love about being out with four kids, is that people actually stare and talk about you...of course here, it just happens to be in a different language (by the way, when I was at the doctor, I heard five different languages being one office...crazy!)...I guess having four kids makes you a circus act...especially here.  I get the questions - "Wow, four kids - are they all yours?" (like I have fifty kids with me...four is not that many kids), or "Wow, four kids - how did that happen?" I always want to tell people - yes, we know how this is called sex. (I am guessing that wouldn't be appropriate.) It is super crazy taking all four out - it will be awhile before I am comfortable managing all four running errands...honestly, it might be never.

 Supposedly Max rolled over from tummy to back...I say supposedly because I wasn't there, but Jake saw it...just not sure I can trust him. He spends a lot of time in the bouncy seat and he loves it - kicking around and smiling. However, the bouncy seat can be hazardous with Sam around...Max has had a few cars dropped on his head, been stabbed with swords, swallowed by blankets...poor buddy. It is official...this kid is not going to love the swing. I can push it all I want and he is not going to take it. I cannot I have a baby that doesn't love the swing?!? Who is this kid?!? He struggled a bit more with his naps this week...just trying to figure out what works best...he thinks sleeping in my arms works best. He is still super least with me and Judah. Judah loves Max...still cannot get enough of him. I am fairly certain he is going to start giggling for me soon. When I tickle him, he almost gets there. I cannot wait until he starts a baby laugh. He still doesn't really coo - a little bit, but not much...good, maybe he'll be a quiet child - I NEED a quiet child. We still have our Moby nights, but not as many. We still haven't attempted the I said before...if it ain't broke, don't fix it. I would prefer if he was a little more chill at night. He doesn't really cry (at least when he is with is all in the breasts I believe)...but I don't like that he doesn't transition to sleep well. All in good time I tell myself. Hard to believe it has been nine weeks - so much still to come, love this sweet boy.

I am thankful God has shown me His grace this week in caring for these boys. We all know I need it...big time. I love being a mom, but it takes everything out of you...and you are never just a mom...ever. Sadly, for me I tend to focus on all the other duties when I need to just be a mom at times and not worry about the laundry (which holy moly is never ever ever ever ever (you get it) ending), the grocery list, the meals for the week, the dirty house, and the list goes on. I allow so many other things to take my focus when I just need to be a mom. Being a mom has revealed every bit of my selfishness and is frightening. I am a sinner and I see how I sin in how I am a is revealed to me everyday. So, I am planning on making some changes - simple ones...but changes. I pray for God's grace as we shepherd these boys...this time will never come back to me. So, I just need to embrace the crazy, climb the laundry mountain, and take a deep breath because tomorrow is a new day.


Karla said...

It is me or does he look like Judah?

Amy Gerak said...

Love your posts, Jenn! Laugh out loud a lot of times and many amens, too! You are doing so great at climbing all the mountains, be they laundry or the Alps!! Love to you, Amy :)