Saturday, January 11, 2014

Crazy Times

Eight weeks for our little Max! Almost two hard to believe. This week started off quiet, got sad (Gramma Peggy and Papa Dan went home), and then got crazy (his big brother, Sam, spent a couple of days in the hospital...we are taking the Swiss healthcare system by fire!). Sam most likely has RAD (Reactive Airway Disease)...asthma in little kids...Hugh has the same more rescue inhaler for this family...oh joy. Fortunately, the week ended quietly. We prefer the quiet weeks...the very, very quiet weeks! And, hopefully...there will be no more hospital stays for any of us! And, we will all be healthy for the rest of the year...a girl can dream!

So, what did week eight bring for Max? Well, it continues to bring the nighttime struggles...serious nighttime struggles. Honestly, he takes FOREVER to fall asleep at night (we are talking three plus that just seems unnatural?!?). I started thinking that maybe the extra bottle at night was too much for him - like it was hurting his stomach. The problem is, he gladly takes he is starving. However, he normally will then get the hiccups and then be covered in is like living with a nineteen year-old frat boy! He knows how to party. Maybe I'll shake it up this next week with the bottle...who knows. I tried laying him down early this at 7ish. That wasn't going to happen. So, he spends most nights in the Moby until bed around 11ish...which can sometimes take until 2ish (shoot me now). Honestly, I don't mind him being in the Moby. There is something different when you know this is the last time a baby will sleep on your count your blessings and worry a little less about your "me time"...this too shall pass and I WILL miss this. So, we'll keep working on the schedule...all in good time. He has done well in his own room - he still sleeps in the rock and play sleeper. Not sure when we'll venture to the crib. If it ain't broke - don't fix it. He still naps decently...until the afternoon...then forget about it. He doesn't enjoy the swing...his loss. I keep telling myself this is a good thing because breaking the swing naps is a total pain. I am pretty sure my gallon a week intake of hot sauce is hurting his tummy - oh well. I see the good mamas cutting all dairy, gluten, sugar, alcohol, name it...while I am pouring half a bottle of hot sauce on my dairy and gluten lovin' quesadilla while drinking my coffee and wine and eating a Snickers...ain't nobody got time to change their diet. I will run out of my hot sauce (my US goods can only last so long) and then I will stop with the spicy foods...just in time for a huge hole to have burned through his stomach...he can thank me later.

He gets the hiccups all the time - after every feeding! This was supposed to be my first solo week...but then Sam ended up in the hospital...and my first solo week didn't start until Thursday...not much of a solo week. So, next week...bring it. I also don't know if I have thrush...who knows, but I do know I am crazy. Funny, Judah is very interested in my "ladies"...he will normally point to them throughout the day and say, "Those are for Max, right?" Well, I have been trying some natural treatments for thrush...involving vinegar, tea tree oil, and air drying. Anyway, Judah is sitting with me and says, "Why are those things out?" I don't feel like having this conversation with a three year-old, so I ignore him...but if you know Judah, he doesn't let up. So, he says, "I smell something." (as he is getting too close to my ladies)...and then he says, "I want to eat those." (he thinks Max is eating my "ladies" when he is breastfeeding) Awesome. After all this is over, my boys and I will be traumatized...seriously. Ok, back to Max. We are still working on tummy time - he isn't down with it. Pretty sure he'll be three before he is mobile...mission accomplished. He experienced the Ergo (since I was superwoman and I walked with all my boys to get Hugh from school - a neighbor friend does it the other nine times during the week...yes, I was SUPER proud of myself)...he probably needs a little more neck support before he can really rock the Ergo. He has been super smiley now...can't get any shots on camera. But he is all smiles in the morning. Oh, how he loves me...Team Mommy all the way. The feeling is mutual. He doesn't laugh yet and there really is no cooing from him - but he talks to me with his eyes. He is definitely a paci baby - for sure. He also takes the bottle well...and all formula still. There is NOTHING in me that wants to pump...NOTHING. I will do it at some point...but not now.  I am never apart from Max and we live a million miles from nights outside of the home aren't happening any time soon or ever...a babysitter would cost at least $100 and that would only be for a few joke. He had his first ultrasound - they wanted to check his hips because he was a c-section baby...all is well with his hips and I might have almost had my first emotional breakdown...navigating a healthcare system in a foreign country and in a foreign language can take a toll on you. I need to learn French...desperately. His brothers are still so in love with him - so sweet. Judah is so into him - it surprises me, and I love it. He has started growing out of some zero to three month sleepers that he just got for Christmas! So sad. No more newborn diapers...I will never have newborn diapers again...too bad I have like twelve unopened packages! Love this little boy so much...need to stop time...just for a little bit!

So, I mentally prepared myself for a solo week...and then I got a by week...well, not really because it is a little stressful having one of your babies in the hospital...especially when you can't visit them (horrible mother). Max is sweet - and I love him to pieces, but having a newborn can feel isolating at times. I know my mental/emotional breakdown didn't quite happen...but I am nervous that it may be coming. I have held it together fairly well while here...even with all the craziness. Most people tell me they have massive breakdowns...some people say they cried everyday for two joke, two years. I would never expect that of myself...but some days are hard. It is isolating being surrounded by people who don't speak the same language as you. I hate feeling like a six year-old because I am too afraid to make calls to make appointments (my husband hates it too...this is actually a very common thing among expats - we all HATE to call to make of my friends would actually drive to the place to make an appointment because she didn't want to call...thankfully, I have Jake). I know my God is the same - He provides the same love and grace whether I know the language or not...and He has provided a church family that has been great here and a great school environment (except Hugh just told us about the kid in his class who spits on his hands...yuck)...I just need to rest in Him. And, I know I will learn the language...once I can figure out how to stop time.

(I actually took pictures of him with the regular camera this week, but I am too lazy to get it, I am awesome.)


Anonymous said...

I love reading your blogs, they make me laugh, and i can so relate to what you are going through, i used to drive in phoenix with a map from the phonebook to find my way around( no mapquest or GPS) before you know it, it all becomes kinda normal. I remember in Spain i would take my ipad with me to the pharmacy so i could show them what i was looking for since i did not speak Spanish.
Keep it up, you are doing great.
Miss you

Brandie said...

"Why are those things out?" Hilarious!
Praying for you, praying for you, praying for you!
Want me to mail you some hot sauce?
I will!!! :) What kind do you want? It's the least I can do.

Hang in there Mama.