Saturday, February 8, 2014

Baby Steps

Maxime is twelve weeks! Honestly, it is so hard for me to believe that it has been twelve weeks and in less than a week I will have lived away from Arizona for six months! Time flies...seriously. I had one of those moments again this week...where you look at your baby and you just know he has gotten bigger. Really. Max looks huge to me this week. He will be three months old next newborn days are gone (and I am crying now...seriously). It feels so crazy to end my newborn season. I know, I still have a little baby...but it is different now. He isn't a newborn any longer. And, I will NEVER have a newborn again. I LOVE the newborn is exhausting, but the innocence of a newborn baby is so sweet to me...they are intoxicating to me...and this chapter of my life is closed. As I have said before, I am very ready for these chapters to end and new ones to begin...but it doesn't mean there won't be tears shed as I pack up all the newborn and zero to three month clothes. My sweet baby, heart overflows for this sweet boy.

So, what did week twelve bring for Maxime? Well, I can finally say he is getting so much better at falling asleep at night! We are at a nine-ish bedtime and he is doing well with it...not every night was perfect, but getting better. I would love to be closer to a seven thirty-ish bedtime...all in good time. His naps are still hit or miss...and I have been letting him cry a bit (normally I crack about seven minutes into it)...but he'll go back to sleep. And if he doesn't, then I feed him...nothing a little milk can't fix. Also, he totally hates going into his room knowing I am going to lay him down for a nap...starts screaming over it...but then chills out.  Makes me laugh that he is already starting to figure this all out.  We still have some long nursing sessions...I finally have a baby who finds joy in nursing, sadly, I do not. However, I have been taking some medicine and it has been helping ease some of the discomfort. After many terrible years of nursing, I have figured out some of my issues...and I am slowly working on steps. We have a good hold on full feedings because this Mama is not about demand way Jose. We also still give him a bottle at night because there no breastfeeding after nine at night in this joke. At least I am not whining every week about all my nursing woes...winning!

He has started back scooting a little bit and sometimes looks like he is trying to flip from back to tummy. He is a long ways out, but his little mind is moving. Maybe I should start strapping him in the bouncer...nah. He loves the Bumbo, which is him more to do and stops the flat head. He hates tummy time...not shocked about that since he never really spent any time on his tummy until he was like two months old. We set up the crib and audio monitor...sadly, no video monitor this time around. I still hold to the fact that a video monitor is one of the top five baby items you can buy...however, it isn't needed and we will not be purchasing one. I bought a second hand audio monitor, which isn't really needed either, but I like to have it when playing with the big boys upstairs...helps me to be a more engaged mom with them. Max is still not sleeping in the crib...this FP Rock and Play thing is the most amazing thing in the world (I would cut off a finger for it...maybe even two fingers), so I am in no rush to move him...however, he keeps growing so he is going to get too big...ugh. I just don't want the crib to jack up his sleeping! I know, I am being become paranoid when things could potentially jack up your sleep...especially when you have four children. I have converted Max to enjoy the swing...nobody ever called me a quitter...that is for sure. He will normally take his third nap of the day in it...only like an hour or so, but that hour counts...dinner time is crazy up at our crib. He still loves his showers with Daddy (when he gets a shower...he has proudly adopted my philosophy that bathing everyday doesn't solve the world's problems). He has finally (I think) stopped peeing on himself...he has an incredible gift to be able to pee during a diaper change into his is disgusting...but also makes me laugh...I am so mature. His brothers are still all over him...and sadly he took a whipping in the face with some thing that should not have been used as a whip...he needs to man up being the fourth brother! Not that I was holding out for this, but he is not going to have blue eyes. I was with a baby today who is four weeks younger than Max and she has blue eyes...Max does not. I am ok with this and I am embracing it...I have one child that looks like me and I kidnapped the other is all good. I still think he looks a lot like Hugh, but he also has Judah's round face...stay tuned for a photo comparison of the four will be epic. He is still super smiley and Jake almost got (stole) a giggle from him, but I would say it wasn't quite there yet (I am sure Jake would disagree)...I guess we aren't very funny. He is still talking a lot and I love, love, love his voice. He looks at me so sweetly and with a huge smile and then starts talking...honestly, my heart melts. I love this boy so much!

So, twelve weeks...this was always the time for me to evaluate my body...having to go back to work and fit into my work pants. Well, no worries this time around...and we know I wouldn't be fitting into my work pants! I am trying to give myself a break. I have birthed four beautiful boys...and the war that was had on my body has left battle scars for sure...but those scars (and stretch marks) come with beautiful birth stories and sweet smiles. So, I am giving myself a break. I want to be healthy (I just need to eat all the candy that is in my house right now...because I am not wasteful!) for my run and play with them...and fitting into my pants that are sans elastic waistbands would be nice as well. Luckily, I love myself some yoga and stretch pants...sadly, most Euro women have not embraced these amazing pants...I will break them. I also need to figure out a way to successfully exercise with all my children in tow...hmmm. Eating candy with them in tow is much easier. I also need to figure out how to enjoy, it doesn't feel good after the fourth bunch of crazy liars. Baby steps. God has shown me His grace this week and helped me to slow down my crazy train. I have been thinking a lot about things and praying about things. God is chipping away at this hard heart. I am thankful for this hard see God's faithfulness, mercy, and grace in my life. I have so much to learn and have such a great desire to live life rather than watch it pass me by...I want to embrace all the crazy and be thankful for regrets. I am also thankful for good Swiss wine and chocolate...I am not a liar.


Clayton said...

You said a lot of true things about stretch marks, God's grace in the hard seasons, the greatness of eating candy and yoga pants.. but the truest words in this post are "no, it doesn't feel good after the fourth bunch of crazy liars. " Preach it.

Amy Gerak said...